I have been thinking about this lately and it has made me feel a bit quite overwhelmed actually. Well, let me give you some context.
In December 2010 I met this guy. He was not my type at all, but he knew how to seduce…but not to conquer at all. Poison made out of insecurities and fears from him that just hurt me in the deeplest way. We’ll call him Voldemort (the-one-who-must-not-be-named). One of the main reasons as well is because he totally cast some kind of spell on me because I lost myself and it took me almost a year to recover from that. Whatever we had only lasted 3 months…enough time to literally destroyed and sailing with no destination.
The day after he broke up with me I got an email from LatinoAustralia (an organization that helps people apply for scholarships and univertsities in Australia). I was so broken, confused and in pain that all I wanted was to do something to keep my mind away from thinking rubbish. I decided to do all the paperwork to apply for a scholarship. It could have been anything…a 3000 pieces-puzzle, a sudoku book, working-out, but I thought maybe this is it. Everything happens for a reason. I did everything on time and now I’m moving to Sydney to get my masters on Croscultural Communication at USyd. 
This is my “everything happens for a reason.”
Then, I met this guy who happens to be awesome. I didn’t notice how awesome he was until my birthday actually. He has made me feel really good about myself. Voldemort told me so many things that actually made me feel like I was a second class human being, but this guy referred to the very same things, but he made feel like first class. I really thanked him for helping me get back my self-steem…He happened by chance…totally unexpected.
Chance and “everything happens for a reason” meet and make me wonder lots of things. Chance and Fate that is how we are going to call them.
How can we differentiate them? how can I know the difference between Fate and chance? are they just the same? maybe one is more like in present and the other is more like in future perfect…
I mean I do realize that Fate is everything that happens to me…I mean it is meant to be…but I strongly believe that we also decide what to do and we shape our fate…like trees and those ortopedics that people place around them to make them grow straight.
Fate: the tree has to grow
Chance: the tree might have the chance to be guided in order to grow straight.
Of course you might say it is fate if that happens or doesn’t. We are no tree though…lots of things happen in our life that are out of our hands..but we decide the way we deal with those.
Everything happens for a reason I guess…Voldemort needed to destroyed me so I could read that email and start my masters… It was meant to be…it was fate.
But I can’t help thinking on this other guy…He is awesome! I do wonder if he is my chance to have someone woth having in my life…maybe this is my chance… He hasn’t given me any hopes though, he met me actually half leaving for this masters…I have the feeling that many things are being left unsaid…I’m leaving…What would the purpose be? I’m just waiting for my flight in one more month and then gone.
I know that maybe I’m not making much sense…but I feel like I have to give up one thing. This new guy deserves better, too. I have nothing to offer…after this masters I feel like I could offer something and be as successful he is…Maybe I need to leave…this is my chance to improve my prospects in life…plus I have goals…I want to achieve them as well. Maybe once I come back I’ll see what happens with this guy…maybe there I’ll know the difference betwen Fate and Chance.
In the end everything happens for a reason…and It’s all fate XD
